I surrender
by Lysangelle
Summary: Callie and Arizona's big baby talk is interrupted when Mark needs them for a family emergency. Post 6x19. Spoilery.


Title: I surrender

Author: lysangelle

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating: PG13

Summary: Callie and Arizona's big baby talk is interrupted when mark needs them for a family emergency. Post 6x19. Spoilery.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

A/N: this story contains the scene of a birth. Being a happily gay woman with a partner who adopted her own kids, I never witnessed a real birth (except in TV documentaries). It's why I prefer to just skim over it. Aren't you happy, oh you all potential squeamish ones? ;-)

A/N: At the time I finished writing this I didn't read any other post 6x19 fanfic. If this story is similar to any other one, it's just a case of 'minds thinking alike' and stuff LOL.

The title comes from a Celine Dion song. I just found the lyrics so fitting in this case; I couldn't resist.

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I Surrender

Celine Dion

There's so much life I've left to live

And this fires burning still

When I watch you look at me

I think I could find the will

To stand for every dream

And forsake the solid ground

And give up this fear within

Of what would happen if they ever knew

I'm in love with you

Cause I'd surrender everything

To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you

I know you can feel it to

We'd make it through

A thousand dreams I still believe

I'd make you give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender

I know I can't survive

Another night away from you

You're the reason I go on

And now I need to live the truth

Right now, there's no better time

From this fear I will break free

And I'll live again with love

And no they can't take that away from me

And they will see...

Chorus

Every nights getting longer

And this fire is getting stronger, babe

I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive

Did you hear my call

I surrender all

(Cause I'd surrender everything)

(To feel the chance to live again)

I reach to you

I know you can feel it too

We'll make it through

A thousand dreams I still believe

I'll make you give them all to me

I'll hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender

Right here, right now

I give my life to live again

I'll break free, take me

My everything I surrender all to you

Right now, right now

I give my life to live again

I break free, take me

My everything I surrender all to you

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The silence was starting to stretch, both woman trying to settle the stress that was playing havoc with their respective nerves.

"I'm going to take care of my hair before it turns into a bird nest." Arizona said finally, stepping off the bed and heading to the dresser to pick up clothes.

"Arizona…" Callie started in a frustrated tone.

"Calliope listen!" the blonde interrupted, closing the drawer where she grabbed some flannel pants. "I'm not trying to avoid the conversation or to stall… Ok, maybe there's a bit of stalling happening, but I just need a few minutes. To gather my wits, this is making me very nervous. Ok? Please?"

Callie smiled lightly at the pleading look her girlfriend was giving her. She was founding her lover so cute despite the tenseness between them.

"Ok, baby. I'll be here when you're ready." The dark haired woman answered tenderly.

Arizona answered with a smile and a brief nod of her head and went back to the bathroom.

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She was dressed and brushing her still damp hair, trying to put some order in her thoughts when she thought she heard her lover's voice.

When the blonde stepped back in the bedroom, Callie was talking animatedly on her cell phone and was trying to gets pants on with her free hand.

"Yes… Yes! Yes Mark! Of course I'll bring her... Mark! Stop! We're on our way!" The ortho surgeon almost yelled before hanging up.

"Men! They're useless!" she mumbled as she sat on the bed to put some shoes on.

"That's what I've been saying for years." Arizona quipped, making her lover jump in surprise. "What's going on?"

"Oh! You're out!" Callie quickly made her way around the bed, picking up her girlfriend's sneakers on her way. "Sloane is at Mark's, she's in labor. She's fully dilated. Teddy asked for you."

She handed the shoes to Arizona who hastily put them on.

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Two minutes later, they were both entering Mark Sloan's apartment,

The soon to be grandpa was pacing in front of the couch, looking about ready to loose the plot completely, and grunts of pain were coming from the bedroom area. 

Arizona turned to her girlfriend; "Take care of him, try to calm him down. I'll go help Teddy."

Callie only nodded and walked up to her friend as her blond lover moved toward the grunts and moans.

-------- 

"Hey Teddy. What do we have here?" Arizona asked as she kneeled next to her friend at the end of the bed where Sloane was installed.

"Arizona! I'm so happy to see you; it's been forever since I delivered a baby." Teddy said just loud enough for the blonde to hear her without alerting the mother-to-be. "The delivery seems to go along well, her water broke before she arrived, she's fully dilated and I can feel the baby's head. It's going to go fast from now I think."

"Ok," the paeds surgeon answered calmly, "don't worry about it, you look like you have it under control. Besides it's like riding a bike."

Teddy chuckled as Arizona got up again and went to the head of the bed.

"Sloane? Remember me? Arizona." The blonde waited for a positive answer from the sweaty young woman before adding. "I'm going to help Teddy with your baby, ok?"

Another nod and groan from Sloane and Arizona headed to the bathroom to wash her hands.

---------

In the mean time Callie was trying to get Mark to calm down. She had tried to just talk to him without success. Time for a bit of tough love, she thought.

Stepping in front of her friend, she grabbed his shoulders and roughly shook him.

"Sloan, snap out of it! Right now!" Callie yelled in his face.

Mark's eyes focused on her at last and his shoulders slumped.

"She's in there, Callie. I thought she was gone for good and she's back. And she's having her baby, my grandson, right there." He said and the dark haired woman could see the distress this return caused him.

"I know, Mark. She probably didn't know where else to go. I know it's hard for you." Callie said in a soothing voice, rubbing his upper arms.

The tall man sighed; "What am I going to do, Cal?"

"Well, you'll have to wait and see what she wants to do before you can take any decision. She still has options, and so do you. First though, I think she could use her dad's help right now." Callie answered honestly.

Mark nodded in agreement and moved toward the bedroom area. He turned around though, as if remembering something;

"Callie, if she changed her mind about the baby, would you still…" he started.

The olive skinned woman interrupted him with a shake of her head; "I'm sorry Mark. I'll always be here if you need me, with the baby or anything else. But I realized Arizona is the only one I want to raise a child with."

Mark nodded; not really surprised. "I understand." He answered quietly.

"Common big guy, let's go assist your daughter and see if your grandson really has your nose." Callie said as she grabbed her friend's arm and pulled him toward the bedroom.

--------

Mark directly moved to the head of the bed and grabbing Sloane's hand he started talking to her, encouraging her and pushing wet hair away from her face.

Callie watched, ready to jump into action, as Arizona was quickly preparing an area where she could examine the newborn and the makeshift instruments she would need to take care of the first needs of the baby. Luckily Mark had put together a pretty extensive first aid kit, including countless surgical gloves and basic surgery instruments, courtesy of SGMW for the most part.

When she was done, Arizona turned to the matter at hands. Spotting her lover, she smiled at her and Callie's heart jumped, like always, at the sight of those dimples.

Grabbing a towel she kneeled down next to Teddy as the taller blonde was giving directions to Sloane.

"Here come the head!" The cardio surgeon exclaimed excitedly.

"Make sure you check that the umbilical cord isn't around his neck." Arizona whispered for Teddy's ears only.

The delivery progressed slowly but without complications and soon, Teddy was gently laying the little boy in Arizona's towel covered hands. Teddy tied up the umbilical cord and, Mark refusing the honor, cut it with surgical scissors. Then Arizona quickly moved to the area she had prepared and started cleaning the respiratory track of the little boy. Soon the healthy first cry of a newborn was resonating through the room, making all adults present sighed in relief.

Before the paeds surgeon could go any further, Teddy's tense voice broke the spell.

"Arizona, we have a bleeder, I need help."

Before the blonde could react, Callie was at her side; "Go help Teddy, I'll take him to the other room and take care of him."

Arizona nodded and rushed to Teddy's side as her girlfriend wrapped the baby in the towel. She grabbed some of the items disposed close by and headed to the other part of the open apartment with her wailing load.

---------- 

_A few minutes later__…_

"Ok. We got this under control, Arizona. You can go check on the baby." Teddy said to her friend who was kneeling beside her.

Arizona agreed with a nod, taking her bloody gloves off. She stood up, squeezing Teddy's shoulder as she did.

She went to the bathroom to wash her hands again. Then headed back toward the living room part of the apartment where she guessed she'd find the baby in the capable hands of her lover.

She froze, just out of sight of her girlfriend, as the precious moment she was witnessing took her breath away. Callie was now sitting on the couch. The baby, wrapped in a clean towel, was resting in her arms and tears were running down the beautiful face of her lover as she was softly singing to the newborn.

The blonde felt like a giant fist hit her in the chest and she started breathing hard. Mark appeared at her side and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Are you ok?" he asked in a whisper.

The paeds surgeon just shook her head, her throat too tight to speak even a simple 'no'.

"Listen, Arizona. You know I love Callie and I really like you, so let me meddle just for a second and tell you this." He murmured and the blonde turned her teary eyes to his face. "I never saw Callie this happy, ever. You're the one making her happy. You're the only one who's been able to give her everything she needs. And the important part is not so much that she wants a kid, the truth is she wants a kid with you."

Tears escaped the sky blue eyes then and Arizona took a deep breath, feeling something switch inside of her. The combining of seeing her lover with the baby and Mark's words made her feel like if a wall was crumbling deep in her mind. She smiled at Mark and nodded, still too choked up to talk.

Mark smiled back at her and tenderly kissed the blonde's forehead. Then he turned and headed back to the bedroom area and to his daughter. Arizona stared after him to check that a second head didn't grow up on him while she was busy helping Teddy. She shook her head; it was in those moments, rare as they were that she understood why Mark was Callie's BFF.

With a sigh the paeds surgeon approached the couch. She saw her girlfriend surreptitiously brush her tears away as Callie heard her coming closer.

"Callie…" Arizona started as she sat close to her lover.

"Don't call me Callie," The ortho surgeon interrupted her softly. "I always feel like you're mad at me when you call me Callie."

Arizona smiled at the pouty tone of her girlfriend.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Callie asked in a whisper as she looked up at her lover for a split second.

"Of course not," the blonde answered just as softly. "Why would I be mad at you?"

The dark haired woman just shrugged noncommittally, her eyes on the baby's face again. 

"How are you two doing?" Arizona asked without raising her voice, deciding to let the issue drop momentarily.

Callie lifted her eyes from the baby's face to glance at her again, before answering.

"He seems to be ok, I washed him. The bones of his leg appear to be normal. Addison did good work."

The lump in Arizona's throat came back as she watched her Calliope gently rub a fingertip along a soft tiny cheek. _God I want to be right here, at her side, the day she'll hold her kid for the first time_, Arizona realized with a pang.

She had to clear her throat before she could talk again.

"I need to check him up, can I have him?" she asked, unwilling to get all professional with her love.

Callie just turned to her and gently laid the baby in her arms. Arizona thought she heard a muted sob but when she looked up at her dark haired lover, Callie had stood up and was looking away.

"Ok little man," the paeds surgeon said in a comforting voice; "let's see how you're doing." She started checking the baby over. "I know it's not the funniest part so far but I'm gonna have to disturb you a bit."

Callie watched fascinated as the small nimble hands of her lover were going through the needed gestures to determine the Apgar score and check the general health of the new born.

"There we go, little one, all done. If you're a good boy maybe auntie Callie will sing to you some more, I bet you would like that, huh?" Arizona added while wrapping the baby with the towel again.

Realizing what she just said, she didn't dare looking up at her girlfriend to see her reaction and she just addressed her while keeping busy with the newborn.

"You're right, Addison did great. Everything works fine. He's perfect."

"No he's not; a perfect child would have your blue eyes and dimples."

Callie only realized she spoke the thought out loud when Arizona's head shot up to look at her. They stared in each other's eyes, both looking for something to say when a knock on the door made them jump.

"Saved by the bell." Arizona quipped with a small smile.

"Story of my life." Callie answered with a tight smile herself.

"I'll get it! Must be the ambulance." Mark said, rushing toward the door, unaware than none of her friends were intending to move away from each other just now.

They both had to step back though, when one of the paramedics took over. Arizona started giving him her observations of the newborn but the young man looked at her with a condescending smile, taking in her small stature, her oversized shirt and unusual flannel pants: "And I should take your word for it why?"

Callie moved closer to her girlfriend before Arizona could utter one word and spoke over her shoulder;

"Listen, dude! You're talking to Dr Arizona Robbins, head of Seattle Grace Mercy West Paediatrics' department, you better show some respect…"

Arizona reached back, searched for her girlfriend's hand and grabbed it tightly; she heard Callie's mouth shut with a snap.

"Ah, I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't know." The poor guy looked quite scared of the dark woman by now and Arizona had to smile. She was finding an overprotective Calliope very hot.

"It's ok, Mr.….Jerkson?" The blonde started after checking the EMT's nametag. "I just want to believe your social skills aren't an indicator of how you're going to take care of that baby. You better hope nothing happens to him."

"No ma'am, I'll take great care of him." The man said as he took notes of the details Arizona gave him. He asked her a few more questions before picking up the newborn and heading out.

Callie leaned forward to whisper in a small ear; "I love when you get all bossy and kick butt. It's so hot."

Arizona leaned back against the taller body, savouring the moment of normalcy between them, after all the tension of the last few days. She knew her lover felt the same way when a deep sigh blew past her ear and two warm hands landed on her hips.

Teddy and Mark came out of the bedroom area, accompanying the gurney where Sloane was strapped. She looked pale but was conscious.  
Mark smiled and directed a thank you at his two friends as he kept up with the gurney, never moving far from his daughter's side.  
Teddy stepped up to Arizona and Callie who let her hands drop off of her lover's waist. The blonde missed their warmth right away.

"Hey, you two." The taller blonde started, "We're going to the hospital with mom and son; I'll keep you up to date."

She leaned forward and gave a quick hug to the paeds surgeon; "Thanks for your help, Arizona."

The shorter blonde answered with a short laugh; "Anytime."

Teddy stepped away and grinned.

"Well, nothing personal but I hope it won't happen to us too often!" The cardio surgeon laughed before walking to the door.

Arizona turned to Callie with a sigh of relief, she agreed with Teddy, she didn't want to live this kind of evenings too often either. It was one thing to be under that kind of stress at work but having it follow you at home; with people you care about, is a whole different matter.

The blonde noticed how exhausted her lover looked and suspected it was more emotional exhaustion than physical tiredness. And she knew she was partly responsible for that emotional state.

"Common, Calliope. Let's go home." She whispered, taking her girlfriend's hand again, she pulled her out of Mark's apartment in their own, across the hall.

--------

Once back in their bedroom, Callie just drop across the bed with a heavy sigh.

Arizona stood in front of her, smiling, and crossed her arms over her chest, her arms coming in contact with a sticky substance.

"Eeewww," she exclaimed as she looked down at herself and realized that her front was pretty much covered in gore. She was used to the blood and gore but she usually was covered with many more protective layers in those situtations.

Callie lifted her head to look at her.

"What's eeeww?" The dark haired woman asked. "Ooooh EEEWWWW!!" She confirmed with a face, spotting the mess.

"That's what I said!" Arizona exclaimed, jumping from one foot to the other and pulling the shirt away from her body. "And look at that; they're ruined!" she added pointing at her purple flannel pants.

The ortho surgeon raised an eyebrow, taking a long look at the small Eeyore covered pants then raising her eyes to her lover's face, she burst out laughing.

"Hey! Stop laughing, you big goof! These were my favourites!" Arizona complained with a pout. 

Callie tried to reign in her laughter as she sat up.

"Oh I'm sorry, baby." She said between chuckles. "I'll get you new ones… yeah! Brand new Eeyore flannel pants… in every colour of the rainbow!"

Arizona just stuck out her tongue at her lover, turned away and headed to the bathroom mumbling under her breath.

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When the blonde came back out of the bathroom, Callie was in bed again. She was lying on her left side, facing her, and all signs of laughter were gone.

They exchanged a gentle smile in silence and Arizona headed to the dresser for clean clothes. She unceremoniously dropped the towel she was wrapped in on the floor and start putting clean pyjamas on, seemingly not noticing the burning coal of her girlfriend's eyes on her.

"See something you like?" She asked innocently, making the dark haired woman jump.

"No, I see the woman I love." Callie answered tenderly.

Arizona's eyes filled up with tears at the innocent and sincere answer from the love of her life.

She climbed on the bed and laid down mirroring Callie's position, leaving only a few inches between them.

"What a night, huh?" the blonde whispered loosing herself in the dark eyes she loved so much.

Callie rolled her eyes; "Oh! You can say that again!"

"What a night, huh?" Arizona repeated with a smirk.

"Ha! Smartass!" the ortho surgeon exclaimed with a poke to her lover's ribs.

Arizona squealed and quickly grabbed the olive skinned hand before it could attack again. She intertwined their fingers and brought their joined hands to her chest.

They both kept silent, looking at each other, unwilling to put an end to this peaceful moment.

Callie frowned as she felt her girlfriend's heart start to pound against the back of her hand.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked, aware of the change in her lover's mood.

"I'm scared." Arizona whispered.

"I know, baby." The olive skinned woman reassured her girlfriend.

"No. I mean; I'm scared of having children of my own." The blonde insisted.

"Yeah, I know that too, love. And I understand why you're scared. You have every reason to be. But, Arizona, you can't live in fear of something that might never happen."

The paeds surgeon knew her lover was right but knowing doesn't make things any easier when it comes to fight such primal fears.

"Did you mean it when you mentioned that it would be 'at some point in your life'?" The blond woman asked in a shaky voice.

"Yes I did." Callie answered resolutely. "I'm not ready for a baby now, Arizona. But I need to keep that dream alive. I need to be able to think that, when the time is right; I'll become a mother."

Arizona closed her eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall.

"But that's not the only reason I'm so miserable about your reaction." Callie kept going; her voice was shaking by now. "Look at me Arizona, please."

When the blonde did as asked she found teary dark eyes glued to her own.

"I'm feeling miserable because… Because I'm not sure I would be the kind of mother I know I can be if you're not by my side." The ortho surgeon said not holding back her tears anymore. "I can't give up on the idea of having a child. But I can't give up on having you as my lover, sharing my life either. I want you to be the mother of my kids, Arizona."

The paeds surgeon swallowed hard, fighting off the knot that had built in her throat. She dried the tears on her love's face with her fingers, taking the time to process what she heard. Then took a decision.

"Do you think you could help me work through my fears?" She asked in a hesitant voice. "With the hope that, when that point in your life comes, I would be ready to be a mother too?"

Callie took a shaky breath; "What are you saying, Arizona?"

"I saw you with that baby, Calliope." The blonde started to speak over a tight throat. "I saw you cry holding him."

The ortho surgeon lowered her eyes but Arizona kept talking, her voice gaining confidence.

"It made me realize how happy having a child would make you. And how miserable not having one would leave you…" The blonde's voice turned almost angry as her thoughts took another turn. "And…I… but… I can't allow anyone else to make you happy…Or… or… share your happiness. You're mine. It's my… my… my job…to make you happy."

A small unbelieving smile appeared Callie's face as she realized what Arizona was ranting about.

"If someone has to be by your side…at that time…. In your life… have a family with you, it can only be me! Even if terrifies me!" The blonde rambled on. "Even if it means having to… I don't know…go see someone to overcome my fears, I'll go. I won't let go of you now…"

Soft lips interrupted Arizona's rant as Callie couldn't wait any longer to kiss her.

"Yes, I'll help you, baby." The olive skinned woman whispered against soft pink lips. "We'll take the time you need and we'll prepare ourselves together." 

Arizona sighed.

"I love you. I want to make you happy, Calliope Torres. And I want to be the one holding your hand in the happiest moments of your life, and know I'm part of it. I want to be the one crying with you when they'll lay your baby in your arms for the first time." The blonde stopped talking as a wave of anguish washed over her at the thought.

"But you're still terrified." Callie stated with a frown.

"Oh, hell yeah!" Arizona exclaimed.

Somehow it came out funny and they both burst out laughing.

"Thank you, Arizona."

"What for?" The blond woman asked in surprise.

"For being willing to try and fix your fears. For giving me the world. For loving me enough to do it all." Callie answered in an emotional tone.

Arizona could find only one answer to those words, she leaned forward and kissed her lover with all the love and passion she had in her heart.

They made sweet tender love for hours. Their lovemaking full of promises for the future and leaving them feeling more in sync than ever before.

When they fell asleep just before dawn, it was tightly wrapped around each other.

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Arizona pressed herself closer to her lover's body, feeling the strong arms instinctively tighten around her. She watched the beautiful face a few inches from hers. Callie's face was totally relaxed in sleep and the blonde thought she looked like an angel. 

The paeds surgeon only slept for a short time. Her troubled mind was making sure of that.

Many ambivalent feelings were plaguing her.

She was relieved that the tension that had developed between her and her Calliope was solved but, despite her change of heart, her fears were still very much alive.  
It would take time for those fears to lessen. But with her lover's help she was now certain she could overcome them.

Despite the mixed feelings, she felt a deep contentment fill her. Tonight she surrendered. In the best way possible. She surrendered everything and laid down her heart, her fears, her hopes, her happiness in Callie's hands more fully than never before.

She had faith that Calliope Iphigenia Torres would protect it all and would make old and new dreams come true.

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End file.
